he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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