Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
