You work out of a Hotel?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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