Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
