Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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