Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
