I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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