Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
