you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Farmville is her only friend.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
