I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
