Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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