he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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