How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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