went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize