Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
