Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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