ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
