i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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