All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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