Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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