I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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