Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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