the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Randomize
