There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize