i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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