On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
