Can i not drive my cunt home
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize