woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
