capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I want to fling myself into the sun
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
