he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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