The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
