My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize
