marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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