I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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