Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
