Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
