Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
