sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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