We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize