Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
