he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
