He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
