The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
