I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You can't just leave with hair like that
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize