Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
