Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
