Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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