My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize