It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
