In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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