Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
