LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
