We're facebook friends in real life
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
