Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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