just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize