So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
the raccoons are back...
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