The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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