So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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