College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
