Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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