somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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