just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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