How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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